Dear Diary
I’ve had the worst day of my life, after the most boring banquet with the duke and his wife my coach had a broken wheel and they had no spare coach which was utterly profound so I had to walk… and of top of the despicable occurrence it started to rain; its such a shame since my silk green garment was absolutely wrecked,
I speedily tottered in my now mud encrusted heels towards the nearest window that displayed an extravagantly decorated front room. As I peered in I could see a gorgeous fire place with a flaming orange ball blowing heat across the marble tiled floor… I longed to be warm, to feel the comfort that this mansion holds.
With this new impulse I headed towards the door… a door unlike most doors, the detail was so intricate I could see the household must have been important… However I still believe my home is much more divine than this.
As I gracefully held the bell handle and plunged it down a few times just to make sure I wouldn’t be ignored I heard a distant tapping that grew louder and sharper as the seconds commenced. Although I knew it was help a part of me was quite frightened by this small detail… it sent a shuddering chill down my spine. Now the sound was projecting through my ear drums and I couldn’t ignore it….. Just as I thought it would never end the door slowly slid ajar to release the face of a very small woman who was embellished in fine jewellery and a beautiful purple gown. Her pristine composure was quite surprising since the lady of the house never opens the door usually especially at this late hour…where were the maids? Eventually after what felt like hours her voice echoed through the high roofed hallway asking who I was. As I was briskly repeating to the elder lady of my awful troubles this godlike man appeared in the distance.
To the unfortunate Receivers of this letter,
I am dreadfully sorry to inform you of the loss of your eldest daughter. The only consolidation I can give you is what I can conclude of her death.
She was the victim of a cruel test of my mothers. I assure you, I knew nothing of her scheme until early this morning when she confessed all, since which she has been banished by my father for crushing such a beautiful flower which your daughter was.
My mother, looking for a match for me, was unbelieving that your daughter was a princess and proceeded to test her by making her sleep upon 50 mattresses with a single pea hidden within them, knowing that nobody but a real princess would have skin delicate enough to feel the offending vegetable.
Upon finding her diary (enclosed) I believe she felt the pea and attempted to find it among her mattresses, only to fall from the great height and be crushed by the weight of the felonious bedding.
I can only offer my deepest apologies and assure you I am grieving with you, such a loss will be hard to live with. I have joined the armed forces in the hope I may join her in the eternal kingdom.
Yours terribly sincerely,
Prince Arthur.
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